Saturday, March 16, 2013

Size Issues...

All through my childhood and teen years I was naturally thin, and stayed that way until I hit my lowest adult weight two years ago- 112 lbs.  That might not seem that alarming, but it scared me into gaining back some weight.  Since then, the stress of college and marriage has caused me to steadily gain weight, until my recent plateau of just under 150 lbs.  This is the biggest I have ever been, and it has been hard for me to deal with psychologically.  I have a hard time exercising in a public gym, but I never get a difficult enough workout in my own apartment, and I am easily tempted by simple carbs and sweets (especially chocolate).  This may seem really trivial, but I think it relates to self-image and self-identity.  My body bears the scars of the choices I have made, but I realize that hating myself will only keep me from improving my health by exercise and proper diet.  Please realize that I am not telling women of the world to get skinny; I actually appreciate all body types.  I just know that I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, and I get physically ill quite often from bad nutrition and lack of exercise.  I can no longer justify living in a way that keeps me from doing the things I love, and makes me dump all sorts of negative feelings on my husband and friends.  That is why I am going to do a personal version of BatFit, and finally get healthy.  All my life, thin or not, I have never really been active and healthy.  That is going to change.

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